Daydream : The Confessions of a Tall Girl

My Mama- a plain housewife agrees that being simple is really being beautiful . She believes that it is the most and the greatest things in life she always had. But , when we are growing , she always said that she is more prettier than us - when she was young . My Mama has an average height that is 5'4 or less than a half of it . She had nothing to say with her height . She  don't mind mind the length of the jeans neither the choosing a pair of shoes .

I don't know if it is being unlucky or not . But , we , her daughters are different from her . My eldest sister is 5'8 tall , I am near to that 5'6 now at the age of 17 . My sister , namely Celya is 5'6 tall . She is really pretty , smart and gosh ! Fitrum Body baby! She is really like a beauty queen . In that factor , being that tall is really an asset for her . Actually , I know really , that she is really going to bring home any crown in the near future . I am saying the truth fellas . She really is .

When I was in grade school , I use to be not this tall . I am an average girl . My classmates are taller than me . Though I am bigger in size , they are obviously tall . I do not play Chinese garter coz I don't jump so high bcoz of my height and weight . And I am really chubby then , so I don't really fit in on that game . It matters on me every time on that times!

Things had change when I reached high school . My classmates have been growing so fast . And ME ? 
FASTER! Yeah . I am 2 inches tall to Charlene when we are in 2nd year . My best friend Hanny is more than 3 inches shorter than me . Now ? Guess ? Do I felt anything bad ? :(( Not that time .


I felt that I am a kid growing older  I feel so out every time we were together . I felt than I really , never belong to them . It sucks and hurts that you are different from them . You are a Princess along with the Fairies , when you always wish that you are a witch . Get me right ?

I always feel that I am such a joiner something . Sometimes an intruder of their own looks . I really look different . I am the blue among the greens . I am the tower among the village . I am the Avocado in the salad . The lemon in your coffee . Though they always say I am pretty , I felt that I am " ugly duckling " that time . So bad that I am that goose that was joined in the ducks.

My Ate Kane is the only girl in the house ( except Mama) who never tried discriminating me . From being a fat girl who always cry when there is nothing wrong to being a tall and big teen in the school .
She is the tallest woman in the clan . I can never imagine myself that Ate is that tall like Venus Raj . It is .. I don't know . Maybe I can be like Iya Villania someday . Haha!

My sister Mai and Celya calls me " Inday Sara " . I got angry and humiliated in that moment . Not bcoz I am big as they compare me with our Mayor , but the thing that I want to be the President of RP either than the Mayor of Davao . Really ? Really nga eh .

When they discriminates me at home , they keep on saying that I am big , tall and masculine . I think I am not . I am like ... GOSH! It is really our Mayor that I am thinking now . Okay . Accepted .

With this height and size , our neighbors got mistaken that I am the older than of Celya . Insulting ? Yes . It is . Celya is 2 years older than me . So , do i look like 20 ? Oh my momay! Sucks . Now you know kayo uy ! Ahak.

Like going to school . I usually commute going school and back at home . There is a time that , in one day , every time I get into the jeep I banged my forehead or my skull in the jeep's ceiling ( whatever it is) . It really hurts . I am getting worried that maybe someday , the time would come  that I may be forgetting all things in my life bcoz of that . Huhu .

My classmates used to notice me with my height , it means - I am not really pretty . Yes . I am not . Being tall is not actually an advantage neither a benefit . Not just your are tall , you are sexy . some feels like that .

Being short makes me seeing myself inside the box . Acting like a doll . Chaka doll . Really it is . Hehe

Some Girls want to be like me ,  tall and I don't really mind the other ideas

 . Did they ever think how it feels in this size ? Let me tell you may things . First , you gonna choose Parisian instead of a cheaper shoes . You gonna have the size 10 shoe . Eventually , it is not available . You are not in America , there's no size like yours Joe! Haha

 Then , you gonna find a jeans which is longer than the usual . You gonna buy more than the required meter of fabric whenever you gonna need attires , costumes and uniforms for school . You have to choose 18 than the usual 16 size of Girl's shirt . Ant the last thing is what I always hate , during my high school days , I always positioned on the last part of the line during flag ceremonies . It triggers the feeling when it is after the rains . Imagine fellas . Yuck , yuck . yucks . I hated it!

 But I have nothing to do . This what I inherited to the Papa of the Papa of the Papa of my Papa . Yes , I would learn to love it . Maybe it is awkward to see me with my friends which leveled my shoulder or ear. I love friends . And height doesn't matter to me . As long as they love me too no matter how tall am I .

Maybe I would be taller than my Ate Kane when I reached the age 20 . But , I know , I have the long way to go! Choosing the pair of shoes is easier than choosing the pair of prosthetics legs . I mean that , instead of denying what you are , let us be what we are .

I realized that thinking that I am different is the most thing that I could really accused myself -- a racist . I am discriminating myself every time I do that . And it is something that makes me suffer more we. Right ?

Being tall makes me learn the importance of how God make me unique! Beautifully and Gorgeously unique with my height . I may be not playing any sports that requires this  , but I know I play differently .

God is so good that He make this life wonderfully ,and me ? I can give it a meaning without discriminating myself . Getchi ?

HAYAHAY -- :)

--jessa o5.o9.11