Keeping Right without My Papa

How you feel when you lost someone ? who extremely means a lot to you . Who let you know everything that is under the sun . Well , it is how it feels like when I think about my Papa .

He is a soldier . He never stays at home the whole month , often never go home the whole four weeks even . Irony at its finest . Though he let us see what he always strive for , like in any movies about families , this is a blah blah dramatic . I hate crying scenes . But when Papa is talking about or my family , I can stop them from falling like raindrops . I always missed my Papa so much .

When I was a kid , he used to asked me about my school , and tell me that I have to stop bullying my classmates and my best friend Reyna . He said that it is bad . And when he said it , I would really do it . I stop playing with the boys in our school after that day . I am so sorry with Papa that he even didn't saw me changing my attitudes and how I am so goo , so good girl by now .

Missing Papa , is like a routine to me . Crying at night and in the blank by day . I should've let go of him , he is the one I would never replace by any millions of cash and I would really choose him than my bey blades before .

I reach college without him . My Mama always say that we have to do hard in order of my Papa. But the truth is all things that I accomplished like being the class valedictorian , awarded almost of the award in the programme and being one of the pioneering artists/writer of our school is so useless to me . I miss Papa . I would rather be dull and idiot just to have him back . So bad I couldn't bcoz God prohibited .

But see , I am an inspiring writer , a good daughter ( hope so ) and a students who stands that we have to strive for our country's tomorrow and who claimed the words of God and by my own principle . Loosing Papa is so hard and I am dying imagining it . Thus , I am a real , good , fantastic ( so arrogant , isn't ist? but true) girl he ever wanted . With God , I am doing good! With my Mama who is always there for me ! With my Papa in heaven whom I missed for almost nine years , I am keeping my way on the right track!
Keeping right without Papa is just a very hard task and a kind of adventure that God had given into me since I was in Grade Three . God is so good . I don't even know if I am on the first stop of this trip but I always pasted on my brain that Papa will always be there for me . He is listening , I know . He sees me , I know . He loves me , absolutely . He always think of me , that's it! We are all Papa's girl at home . I am not competing with my sisiters either . That is one way I can show how I love Papa .

I can show Papa that , my mother raised me as he wanted too . I can no longer hear on what he could say . But my heart ? My Papa always be here . He is more than a true love . He might not be the man , I can say that is perfect . He is more than a knight . Until now , he still is .

Papa and God with my Mama & along with the people surrounds me are partners in this journey . With them , slowly but surely , steadfast or faster I am keeping my way to my goal .


Love your Papa as well as everyone who loves (and even who don't) you!
-- jessa :( o9.o1.11